The Miriam Speaks

I think it bothers me so much that you don’t open up to me because I want to be that person who knows everything about you. But I’m not. And it sucks. It really sucks.

A piece I wrote after getting back from Israel for the JCC

Israel; My Journey Into Balagan.

First things first; what is Balagan? Well, “balagan” is a hebrew word which basically means chaotic or messy. I use it to describe anything from my hair in the morning to the current state of the Middle East. I think it can be used to describe life in Israel perfectly. 

I once read in the New York Times that people tend to go temporarily insane while talking about the Middle East; I didn’t understand that statement until this trip. The first time I visited Israel I was with my family trekking around for my Bat Mitzvah. The entire trip was a whirlwind of sights, sounds, foods and my introduction to a culture I still couldn’t understand. It had a profound impact on my life but there was a lot that I hadn’t taken in, understood or been able to process. As I got older I began to understand better some of the things I’d seen and heard. 

I was told before going on Taglit that it’s filled with partying and crazy amounts of fun. We had an incredible time and we did party, we even got a little rowdy at times but my birthright trip, for me, was far more sober and far more focused. I gained a much deeper appreciation and understanding of the country and surrounding areas. The first thing that comes to mind, and one that people tend to dismiss or not see, is that Israel is at least 100 times more complicated than anyone can imagine. There is ethnic, religious, cultural, linguistic and national diversity. Even coming from Canada and even with my travel background, I have never seen the kind of ethnic jumble that is in Israel. 

The second thing and maybe one of the hardest to grasp fully is that the Arab-Israeli conflict, which has so tragically become the first thing that many of us think of when talking about Israel, is a kaleidoscope of many dimensions. The complexity of it contradicts the oversimplified versions we all see on the evening news. Every person you meet on the street, in the cafes, at the bars, has stories of the conflict. They all have a unique opinion and understanding of it. The State of Israel has a population of approximately 7,684,000- that’s 7,684,000 people with different perspectives to hear. Every time I’ve gone to Israel it has challenged my views. I begin to see and understand that not everything is black and white, and that North America is sort of like a secluded cocoon which only lets you see the conflict through the narrow moral prism of these two simple colours.

This trip to Israel took me to across the country. From the rolling slopes of the Golan Heights to a midnight hike in the Judean Desert. Walking in the desert wrapped in blanket of silence and stars reminded me of how very small I am. While lying on the ground staring up at what looked like a planetarium ceiling I realized that maybe I’d never heard silence at all until that moment. We saw the Dead Sea, where nothing lives and everyone floats, the ruins of Masada still echoing violence, passion and freedom, the traffic jam that is Tel Aviv and the most curious place I’ve ever been; Jerusalem.  You’ll find the most peaceful place in the country there. Mount Herzl. It’s the cemetery where the soldiers are buried, though it isn’t just soldiers - it’s people who have given their lives to Israel, people who fought for her survival, those who died trying - they’re all there. They are all resting in the most peaceful place in the country, one of the more beautiful places too. I don’t know if it’s ironic or if it just makes sense but Mount Herzl is where they get laid to rest, where they are finally at peace. Looking at the rows of uniform headstones I think about the fact that these people died defending my way of life. My homeland. My family. They died in the hopes that we could live free in a land that is our own or could go back whenever we needed to. We have the right of return because of these people. We exist today because of these incredible people.

When sitting on a bus trying to get out of the old city of Jerusalem on a Friday afternoon the utter chaos is fascinating to watch. People are in the streets taking no notice of the cars or buses trying to get by. Everyone is trying to get home for Shabbat caring only that they make it in time to light the candles at sundown. Looking at this street scene it’s hard to believe that it’s possible to find spirituality in such a place. A place of conflict and chaos but Israel is the birthplace of two major religions, Christianity and Judaism. It’s also a major influence on a third, Islam. Israel is a country in which religion evolved alongside history, and often dictated the terms on which it was created. Spirituality is built into the very ground on which you walk. 

It’s hard for me to describe my experiences in Israel accurately. This trip cemented my love of Israel. I think it is an incredibly beautiful country; the landscape, the people and even, sometimes, the conflict. It doesn’t surprise me that people fight so hard or feel so strongly about this place. That statement I mentioned earlier -  people can go temporarily insane when talking about the Middle East - finally makes sense. There were moments when I felt engulfed by a sense of spirituality and connection and others when I felt I was walking through a complicated, and sometimes violent, maze. There is no place in the world that makes me feel the way Israel does. I met some truly incredible people on this trip and I’m very grateful for having been given the opportunity to go. 

Some people describe Israel as the place where heaven meets hell I describe it as the place where heaven meets earth. I miss it already and can’t wait to get back. You should go! I’ll see you there in Yehuda Market for a spicy Felafel Sandwich. 

Redefining Rape

A far-reaching anti-choice bill, introduced by Republican Chris Smith and supported by 173 members of the House, includes a provision that could redefine rape in the realm of federal funding for reproductive health care. Right now, federal dollars can’t be used for abortion except in cases of rape, incest, or when the woman’s life is in danger. But the Smith bill would narrow that use to “cases of ‘forcible’ rape but not statutory or coerced rape.” 

My issue with this bill is not the blatant anti-choice message. I think it’s a complicated issue. I think you have the right to choose but that also means you have a right to choose your own opinion too. 

No, my issue is the ‘redefinition of rape’.

As far too many people know, bruises and broken bones do not define rape - a lack of consent does. 

Rape is rape. It doesn’t matter if it’s ‘forcible’. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger on the street or a boyfriend who doesn’t listen when you say you don’t want to. No means no. It is NEVER a subliminal yes. 

Rape doesn’t need redefining. It needs harsher punishments and the process of coming forward and proceeding through the courts needs to be reexamined. Currently rape and/or sexual assault victims are put through hell - just to be a witness in their own case. Most women or men who have been raped or assaulted don’t come forward because they are scared of what will happen. Our judicial system (in Canada and the USA) doesn’t help this fear, at all. Your entire life gets examined. You get aggressively questioned about everything from details about the incident (which makes sense) to your sexual history. Your personal life gets torn to shreds. … how is that permissible and why the hell is that necessary? 

If you live in the states you should sign this petition.

http://pol.moveon.org/smithbill/splash.html?rc=homepage_splash

Trip to Israel - in point form

- Land and spend hours in the airport

- Drive north and spend the next few days looking at a really beautiful landscape

- Tel Aviv, Jaffa and Bat Yam. A lot of Nargila.

- Drive to the desert which is currently one of my favourite places in all of Israel

- Night walk through the desert followed by drinking and singing by the fire

- Masada, dead sea and drive to Jerusalem

- Next few days spent in Jerusalem. Yad Vashem day was really difficult but also kind of amazing.

- MEGA EVENT was epic to say the least

- Shabbat in Jerusalem then home

There are so many stories to be told and so many things to say but I can’t break it down properly here.

I’m just grateful I got to go on the trip and I’m grateful I got to spend time with/get to know the people I did while I was there.

I’m going back soon and then again and again.

I’m home and back into rehearsals for Godspell which opens on February 11th.